E can see again!

Glasses repaired...this time a strap was bought...SUCCESS! Two full days of keeping her glasses on and re-connecting w/ her toys, dolls and t.v. Hooray! Maybe that explains the giggle fit this afternoon? She was litterally laughing so hard that she was rolling on the floor. And no, no one was tickling her or provoking it. Yes, it was contagious!

Pumpkin Spice Latte, Tropical Storm Hannah and Housecall...

Ahhhh, enjoying my first Starbuck's Pumpkin Spice Latte for the "fall" season...an annual favorite of mine. Of course, it was windy, cool and raining this morning thanks to T.S. Hannah, when we first entered Starbucks (in Target). After finishing our shopping, however, we walked out into the sunshine and UGH...HOT weather. Yuck! The storm moved on out while we were shopping. So, you could say that my spunky, "looking-forward-to-fall" mood quickly vanished. I did enjoy school shopping for Eliza though and buying everything on her "school supplies" list. Doing that put a little skip into my step as I imagined my little peanut growing up and actually going to school. I got a little twang in my heart too knowing I'd miss her. But then I started humming and remembered all the things I'll be able to get done and off I went daydreaming:

"I'll be able to weed all my flower beds and plant fall mums;

I'll be able to start working out and get a toned body;

I'll be able to go shopping and shopping and shopping;

I'll be able to try the clothes on IN the store;

I'll be able to leave the house w/out all the extras and at the moment I want to leave;

I'll be able to cook gourmet meals and bake luscious deserts;

I'll be able to..................ahhhhhh"

Okay, well maybe not ALL of that, but a girl can daycream, can't she? Dropping her off at 9:15; pick up at 3:45...The hours alone are enough to daydream about right there.

Only other update is that Eliza's new teacher made a house-call yesterday afternoon! She likes to come by and see the kids in the their home, play w/ them a bit and talk w/ the parents about their routine, what they need help with, what they enjoy doing, etc. Of course, all of that is in the report that she received, but she likes to make it more personal and to help the child make the connection of who she is in their familiar setting. I thought that was awesome. She spent almost 2 hours with us. She sat and played w/ Eliza and got lots of hugs and eye contact. She watched Eliza "listen" to and "follow directions" from Daddy and Mommy. She watched Eliza track our movements and what we were doing. She listened to Eliza babble and laugh. She was very impressed and feels really good about having Eliza in her class. Derek and I both gave her lots of kuddos for coming to the house to do this.

A smile is worth a 1000 words!

happiness...

Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply,

to enjoy simply, to think freely,

to risk life,

to be needed.

Storme Jameson (1891-1986), English Writer

The phone rang during dinner tonight. It was Eliza's assigned teacher. (Read the previous post to be brought up to speed.) Her voice was so friendly and warm and JUST what I needed tonight.

Reassurance. Angsting over the previous days, days ahead, the choice of which school I had to make... The voice on the other end of the phone was a prayer answered: A confident and compassionate extended hand inviting Eliza and I to step into this next chapter.

She told me she had just received the e-mail from our caseworker assigning Eliza to her class and that she hadn't yet received Eliza's file yet. She said she was so excited to have a girl join the class that she wanted to call us right away. She didn't have any girls in her class last year and this year, she only had 3 boys. You know those boys are going to be loving having beautiful Eliza in the class. Hope she's not a distraction for those poor boys.

So, we chatted about Eliza and then she happened to mention that tonight was Open House. I told her I'd love to come over w/ Eliza, if that would be okay since she didn't have Eliza's file yet and she said, "Yes, definitely, come to the Open House." So Eliza and I quickly finished up dinner and drove to the elementary school...literally 5 minutes away. The parking lot was packed. Eliza got out of the car, had to bring Barney with her, but walked (which is a big deal; she'd rather be carried in new settings). She walked all the way down the sidewalk like a big girl, into the front doors, down the hallway and into the classroom. She looked Miss Robin in the eye and smiled. That was HUGE. She did get a little nervous and want to be picked up, but I held my ground and just got down to her level for reassurance. Then she started checking out her new classroom.

Eliza has a way of "knowing" things. Because she's not verbal, you often wonder if she's "getting it", but she is. She has very good receptive understanding, but also has this "knowing". So she fiddled around while Miss Robin and I talked about what to expect, all the while I knew she was listening to us. When we got home tonight, she was very content and smiled a lot. She went right up to bed and gave me a long, tight hug, then puckered her lips for a kiss. She held her gaze in my eyes for about 20 seconds. In those moments, I know she's trying to tell me something. Tonight, I think she was telling me that "we" were going to be okay. A difficult day turned happy.

ELEPHANT in the room and THIS and THAT

I saw this on a beautiful blog today (catchingbutterfliestwo) and had to copy it here:

"To the world, you may be one person;
but to one person, you are the world!"

- Author unknown.

That really spoke to me for many reasons...more on that below.

Okay, so the ELEPHANT in the room. Eliza has been diagnosed w/ Autism. I'm putting it out here because it's something that I'm going to be writing a lot about and frankly, I want to, no need to talk about it. She will be starting school in an AU class (Autism only) next Wednesday, 5 days a week, traditional school hours. She was accepted into a great program offered thru our school system to those that qualified. It's intensive and she will be getting many different therapies in a social setting. The class size right now is only 4 children (including Eliza) w/ an Autism Special Ed teacher and two assistants. It's going to be a big change for her (and for me). My heart is still aching for my loss and for her loss, but I have to remain in the present and focused on helping her. Please pray for her.

Remember my desire to train Hogan to be a therapy dog once Eliza started school? Well, I've read about therapy dogs helping children w/ autism. Then I found out that our school system has a R.E.A.D. dog (a dog that visits schools and becomes an audience to children in speech therapy helping them read out loud and gain confidence from a "non-judgemental, compassionate and non-peer" spectator. I thought that was pretty cool and as Eliza goes thru the Autism program, who knows, maybe Hogan can travel to the AU classes and offer therapy assistance! Hmmm.... I'll need to get to work on that.

Some THIS and THAT: Before I forget, I updated my previous post (trip to Kansas) w/ some additional photos and edited what I had originally written. Check it out.

Also, Miss Eliza broke her glasses on our 2nd day in Kansas. She had been refusing to wear them for the week leading up to our trip. So in front of her old Yang girlfriends, she bent and twisted the arm all the way back and around. While they are the flexible kind, they're not that flexible. It was as if she was saying to me, "Ta da, mommy...now you can't make me wear them anymore in front of my friends." Hrumph...they are in the shop getting fixed. I'm also going to buy a back-up pair this time.

What else? Well, since being back home from our Kansas trip (which I still miss so much), I've been fostering 2 golden retriever puppies (now 10 weeks old) for the breeder that we got Hogan from. They are little brothers to Hogan and are so cute. One is a "keeper" (no, I'm not keeping him). He's as easy as Hogan and smart, already knows to sit in order to get a pet from me. The other one is a tubby. He jumps on me, has managed to catch my hen already, chases cats up trees, wants to run the pasture after the geese, swims in the baby pool. He's a hoot, but a handful. Hogan has been mothering (or brothering) them and is having a really good time being chased around by them. It's actually been fun. Fun in a sort of Grandma-way; I enjoy the "grandkids", but know they're going back home! Anyway, the reason I'm fostering is that the breeder and her husband finally went to Vietnam to bring home their twin baby girls. They are GORGEOUS!!!

Enjoy today's photos!

Reading to her two favorite dolls...

Not happy that I interrupted her.

Hogan and the two pups

"Together from the start; always in my heart!"

Three girls together again...

Eliza, Jaiden and Emma

August 2008

Witchita, Kansas

Words cannot describe... seeing the 3 Yangdong daughters together; Eliza, Emma and Jaiden. Their lives once shared a common home, far away in China, in the same building, the same room. Through a red thread, their 3 moms connected, and a friendship began. Two years later, we (their 3 moms) made it happen...we brought the girls together again!

It was so fun; each so different, but yet sharing that same Yangdong spice..."sweet and spicey" as Megan says! Eliza, the youngest at 3, followed by Jaiden at 3.5 and Emma at 4. What an amazing time we had watching, laughing, breaking up fights, hearing "I sorry"; hearing giggles and checking in to see what they were up to, sharing mom conversations and experiences.

To add to the bliss, we met up w/ Tami and her 2 daughters, Amy and Anna, both from Yangjiang (where Yangdong SWI resides), but from neighboring SWI's. All 5 "Yang" girls gathered at a playground and talk about CUTE!!!!! ....Words just cannot describe... maybe the few pictures will help.

Ring Around the Rosey

At the zoo

No description needed!

Eliza, Jaiden and Emma...

Hairbands and glasses!

The Mom's
Megan (Emma's), Sarah (Eliza's) and Julie (Jaiden's)
August 2008
Witchita, Kansas



The 5 Yang girls...Emma, Jaiden, Eliza (back), Anna and Amy!

Eliza and mommy (a rare photo)...thanks Tami!

So hard to say goodbye...already planning reunion #2!

Our Zoo trip!

Pictures from our "day-cation" to the zoo in Asheboro, North Carolina, last Friday, August 8th. We met my brother's family from Charlotte there. What a great, great day. Lots of walking, but beautiful.

About the zoo (from their website): "Our NC Zoo is nationally recognized as one of the nation’s finest zoos. It was the first American zoo designed from its inception around the "natural habitat" philosophy--presenting animals and plants in exhibits that closely resemble the habitats in which they would be found in the wild. The 37-acre African Plains exhibit alone is as large a many entire zoos. The 11-acre Prairie exhibit in the North American region showcases the zoo’s collection of bison and elk. The N.C. Zoo is also the nation’s largest walk-through natural-habitat zoo. Its African and North American exhibit regions span more than 500 acres with more than five miles of walkways. Another 900 acres are available for future development on this scenic site in the Uwharrie Mountains, considered by geologists to be one of the world’s oldest mountain ranges. "

Eliza loved the zoo...North America more than Africa...due to the many aquatic exhibits. She couldn't get enough of the various "ish" (fish) and "ing" (swimming). Yes, she's making progress on her words. She also kept saying "out" to get out of the stroller and run. Her absolute favorite and what I didn't get a picture of though, was the meerkats. They put on quite a show, wrestling and hissing at one another. Then they'd stop and look up at the glass to make sure they still had an audience and wrestle some more. It was very cute and funny. Eliza stood at the glass window for a long time laughing out loud and hissing back at them. A fun day after a whiney week!

If only she could get inside that tank and swim!
Cousin Luke...it's a little scary when these big sea lions press right up on the glass!

Waiting for the merry-go-round to start...
Here we go...whee!

Couldn't help noticing how LONG Allie's legs are.
How 'bout this shot...how cool is that...look at his paws and claws!
This ocelot was so beautiful...an amazing coat.

Okay, getting tired here (notice the glasses are off).
Getting more tired and less thrilled...but this is funny!
Okay, she's out...and the day is over!

Moments of reflection

So, first of all, I'm going to be closing out my "journey to me" journal site, which was the start of my journaling for Eliza. It's bittersweet to me. It's the place that I chronicled life just before Eliza, thoughts about Eliza and of course, our China trip. It's the place that I kept up w/ being at home w/ Eliza and it's one of my favorite places to look at and re-read...over and over. * * My how she has grown since being that little peanut! * * I'm going to have it printed on CD and I'm debating about whether I pay the fee for a Keepsake Book. I've decided that I'll close that journal after the last entry in August, which will be...TA DA... Eliza's and my trip to Kansas to spend a few days w/ 2 of our Yangdong family friends (Megan and daughter Emma; Julie, from Oregon, and daughter Jaiden). I think that will appropriately be a full circle moment for both Eliza and myself.

Eliza's referral photo...taken approx July 2005

Eliza today...July 2008!

I've realized I'm not much of a photographer...that or my camera just stinks. Two other Yangdong family friends whose blogs I enjoy catching up on (Tiffany and Kelly) are quite the photographers...colors, lighting, of course their "subjects" are so photogenic too. Anyway, I've been trying to capture the sunflowers in bloom and our hen, Emma, posing (rousting) at dawn next to them, but couldn't quite do it justice.

Everyone keeps asking me if I've noticed a difference w/ Eliza having glasses. Yes, definitely! She is actually watching tv now and she is enjoying her puzzles. Don't think I'm not going to let this child sit and watch a tv program either. It's long overdue and a joy for me to see her "watching" the program. Of course, having a 3 year old home all day, it's a nice distraction for me to be able to get some things done too!!

Eliza watching Barney!!!!

While I was posting...

While I was posting the last entry, it dawned on me that the room got very quiet. (Eliza was watching Berenstein Bear's and bouncing on the couch.) I turned to look for her and found her sound asleep in a sitting position on the couch...it's only noon?

Here's a photo of Hogan and Allie. Allie has grown so tall and filled out over the summer. She's the best big sister too. She has earned quite a bit of money babysitting (her sister) this summer, giving Derek and I golf time. We're playing in a Friday night couple's league. Allie has also been reluctantly selling her old horse things on craigs list (saddle, helmet, boots, etc.). She's been very brave during this transition time. She was so sweet, she bought me a t-shirt from our local Feed Store yesterday. It has a horse's face on it w/ a ring of flowers framing the horse. The horse looks exactly like Clark. She said it was the only one and was the first shirt she saw when she went into the store. She said it was a sign from Clark. How precious!

Just a little Clark story to share...we bought him shortly after moving to the farm. When we brought him home, he settled in as if he'd lived here before. I had my show horse "Louie" (Louis) at the time and Clark's name, when we bought him, was CJ. So, because he settled so quickly and was so great on the trails, we named him Clark...after Louis and Clark. Well, some months went by and we were cleaning out one of the many sheds on the property. We came across an oil painting, sitting high on the shelf in the shed, it was done by the young girl who lived on the farm before us. It was a very, very good painting of a horse. Well, guess who the horse looked like? You got it, Clark. So, from then on, we decided that perhaps Clark had lived here before? Who knows?? Either way, he lived a happy life here and gave our (then) little girl lots of happy memories. Thanks for taking such good care of Allie, Clark!

Seeing well...

Eliza is doing great keeping her glasses on. This was the first week at The Little Gym that she had her glasses and boy did she improve; finally loving the balance beam. Before this, she was a little afraid of the height; I'm sure now, it was because she couldn't see well. She also got into the obstacle course more than ever this week.

I'm only finding the glasses left around the house once or twice a day (oy...note to self, buy a brighter, colored pair next time). Boy do her eyes look tired when she takes them off and isn't wearing them. She rubs and rubs at her eyes when her glasses are off. It's so funny watching her push them up on her nose to adjust them. (We've had to get them adjusted a few times; I think we've got it now. Gotta love her tiny little flat nose!)

So, on the Eliza, Hogan and I front, we have been enjoying our morning walks together. Sadie is just too old to handle a daily jaunt anymore. Hogan is doing great on leash and following the heel command. He walks right beside the jogger and sits when we stop. I've taught him to sit when a car approaches, other walkers, joggers, dogs approach. I especially wanted him to get used to walking beside the jogger so that when he is in "therapy" dog mode and we're visiting hospitals or nursing homes, he won't be bothered by the wheelchairs and won't try to climb up on people either. (My 12 yo lab, still has to walk in front of or criss-cross the jogger.) He has been so easy to train and is the most obedient dog. He's only 7 months old. He adores Eliza too. The two of them are always together. It's really special to watch.

See Miss E...now you can see!

E-Highlights for the week:

"Ta da...Eliza got her eyeglasses today!"

Okay, Eliza officially wears glasses now. When she first put them on in the office, she immediately began looking around and smiled so bright. The prescription is a lot stronger than I thought, in the left eye. It's amazing how poor her vision is. She then began taking them off and putting them back on. Then she began keeping them on, but looking over the top as they'd slide down her nose. (We have to get them adjusted better. Any suggestions on how to keep glasses on a little flat-bridged nose?) At home, she kept them on the entire afternoon and evening. It was so fun watching her explore the house and her toy cabinet as if she was looking at so many things, literally, for the first time. Pretty cool.

"Mom, E and big Sis finally saw Kung Fu Panda!"

As predicted, Eliza loved it! As for Mom and big Sis, not so much. Okay, it was pretty good, but more violent and loud than we had expected. It was good though, don't get me wrong. Eliza didn't seem to mind the violence or the thundering noises. In fact, she was out of her seat and standing, practicing right along w/ the leg and arm movements and shouting "eyah". Allie and I were laughing so hard. It was very cute! She watched the entire movie. Later, I found a dancing-singing hamster at the drugstore, dressed as a Kung Fu warrior and when you squeeze his hand, he sings (in hamster voice), "Everybody was Kung Fu fighting..." I had to get it for her. It's her favorite toy right now.

...And that's the E highlights for the week so far~!

Another chapter closes

I dread writing that I wish for a year to be over when we're only 7 months into it, but it's true. 2008 has been a pain-filled year with the passing of our 16 year old golden retriever, Meg; a month later my dad, and just this 4th of July weekend, our dear old horse, Clark. Can you believe it?

Allie and (unflattering fat photo of) Clark...a year ago.
Such a good boy...bareback, no bit, just a halter...one of the best kind!
Allie, Clark and Georgie Girl - April '07

So, Clark rebounded from an illness a few months ago, we think a snake bite, only to end up blind. This weekend, he had a stroke; spent the weekend getting into the pond, disoriented and couldn't find his way out. We had to "fish" him out twice...not an easy task when the "fish" is 1000 pounds and resisting you. We had hoped he'd pass on his own, but Monday we ended up calling the vet to put him down. She confirmed that he most likely had a brain tumor, evidenced by his "floating eyes". Clark was Allie's horse; her childhood best-friend, she told me the other day. So, while I'm grieving yet again (c'mon already), I'm also grieving for Allie and also for our now alone horse, Georgie Girl, who is still calling out for Clark and refuses to come down to the barn. We're all a mess...

Trying to stay focused on each day and all the blessings that we have. The farm is back on the market. We are definitely ready to move on and take our happy, favorite memories with us; pass the farm onto the next family who will love it as much as we did. Hubby is very happy to give up the farm work, expenses, horses, etc., and have me join him on the golf course again (which was our first date and what brought us together those many...11 years ago). So, I've picked golf back up again and must admit that it feels good to be playing again. My joints definitely feel stiff and I don't have the swing I used to, but I can still hit the ball. Eliza has enjoyed riding in the golf cart with us on a few early evening outings. She'd rather run barefoot all over the fairways and green then swing a club though right now. Can you blame her? So, while we're not committing to any house until we sell the farm, we've been looking at some on the golf course. Could be a problem w/out a fence though...between Hogan wanting to chase golf balls (thank you to Brendan who currently uses our horse pasture as his personal driving range and has trained Hogan to retrieve his shots) and Eliza who loves running free and has been used to the wide open farm.

Update on her preschool services evaluations: she passed the hearing test, no problem. She definitely needs eyeglasses due to astigmatism in both eyes, severe hyperopia in her left and slightly in her right, and at risk for amblyopia. So, with hope that she'll keep her glasses on (ha, ha, ha), her visual development will hopefully kick in. We'll see. We have some cute, snazzy frames on order to try on...of course, dusty pink or lavendar will be the colors of choice. I pick them up tomorrow for a fitting; then they'll fill the prescription and she should have her glasses by next week. That's going to be interesting. I'll be sure to post pictures.

Okay, well that's all from here...that's enough, isn't it? Pool, golf, house showings...keeps me hopping everyday!